Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Stress over those who don't support breastfeeding

This conversation happened some times ago between MIL and one of a female relative, let's call her "F-R". They were talking about En En's constipation problem.

MIL: En En has very serious constipation, I suspect it's the formula milk being too heaty for her.

F-R : Probably... maybe can change her another type of formula milk. Last time my children all took normal formula milk and they are not heaty.

MIL: True... when En En was a baby, we gave her Enfalac, not suitable. Then changed to Similac.. seems alright and when she grew older we change to Snow, the old trusted brand. We let her take Gain Plus after 1 year old and she has terrible constipation. Then change again to Nespray now and it seems better. Last time I gave my boy S26 and Dumex.

F-R: Oh yes... last time we only have Nespray, KLIM, Dumex,... this type of formula milk. More suitable to toddler, the new brands all has lots of additional ingredients that made the milk more heaty.

Mummy: Breast milk is the best...

MIL & F-R: Silence...

Did I say something wrong??? Looks like they either don't support breastmilk or they have no knowledge about breastmilk and how breastfeeding had making a come back! Feel so stress and worry as there's none of both family members breastfeed successfully and the most they will talk and discuss about is formula milk! I failed once and I hope I can bf successfully for the next baby... living in such environment please tell me how to twist my mind and shall I twist their mind?? My MIL even once told me it's no good to bf the baby if mummy is sick. So better don't bf. I was so naive and believed on what she said and touch wood I never sick from day 1 I pregnant with En En till she's 15 months old!

Seriously, am looking for breastfeeding support!!!


19 comments:

wen said...

some old ppl dont understand the benefits of breastfeeding and always think that we dont enugg milk. but they never thot that their grandmothers fed breastmilk cause there were no formula at that time. i am not saying ur MIL is not gd, i personally have encountered old ppl telling me i have no milk la, blah blah blah and never believed them.I encourage ppl to bf after i did it myself succesfully. i managed to encourage three mummies and they were successful too. i told them that they can call me anytime even in the mid of the nite to assist them if they hv prob. some even comoared their breastfed and non breastfed kids and know the difference. gee, i am so long winded hor...last one, it also depends on the person herself if she is willing to sacrifice during the 1st mth or not. after that, it will be pretty easy.yes sick mummy oso can bf even when she has diarrhoea, so long not much contact with bb when not breastfeeding.

chanelwong said...

I support Breastfeeding !!!!!

Elaine said...

Old people like that la. My MIL also doesn't support breastfeeding so as hubby. 1st child, failed miserably, only manage to breastfeed + formula supplement for 3 months, coz MIL said my milk not good enough. 2nd baby , I breastfed for 26 months and they can see the different between a breastfeed baby and a non breastfeed on, my girl is obviously weaker than my boy. Now they cannot say anything, I'm still fully breastfeeding my 3rd baby.

giddy tigress said...

Don't worry, you will have my support 100%, and please don't hesitate to contact me if you are in any doubt at all. I will give you my hotline numver when the time comes. I have been advocating breastfeeding all this while, and now that I have successfully breastfed my boy for 2 years, I realy love any form of breastfeeding consultation. Trust me, I can go onandon for hours! Oh, and old people can be "changed" too, if you know what I mean!

Mamalina said...

The reason they don't understand is because they didn't breastfeed. So you need to inform yourself with the right info on bfing and be convinced first before you can convince them.

More and more mothers are bfing now, so you'll find more of us supporting you. =D

Still breast feeding at 18 months. Sean doesn't want to stop! LOL =P

jazzmint said...

ermm...i think i don't need to say anything liao..cause everyone has spoken :P. but it's true old ppl don't understand. I'm glad that I had a CL which encourage or rather close one eye when I insist to bf Vyktore fully kakaka...

Abby's Mummy said...

breast is best! (this is advice from a real life doctor and mum...cheh wah...)
.
But in any case, even if formula feeding, after the age of 12 months should stop the formula already, just give fresh milk (like those 1L cartons in the chiller section) 2-3 serves per day. My daughter takes half a glass of milk for breakfast and tea time, and takes plenty of cheese for snacks in between...
.
formula is not necessary anymore, expensive and encourages the child to have a sweet tooth (cause they add all those vanilla flavouring and all that). Baby can get what she needs from natural dairy, no need for specialized formula after 1 year.
.
hope this helps!
.
Abby's Mummy

slavemom said...

U'll get a lot of supporters here, definitely. It's imp to hv all the correct info 1st. So that when our old folks make comments, we hv the knowledge to judge whether to follow or not.

mybabybay said...

It is very hard to change old folks mind. I just continue doing, let them say whatever they want. One in and the other out.

leena said...

i support bf too...to slim down more faster...sharine, come to my fp, first time i wore pregnancy dress to office...;)

Sandra@miabambina said...

Maybe you can find a breastfeeding benefit leaflet in chinese, or you can find online, I know La Leche League got the information in many languages but dont know if you can get it on their website.
IF you can find the chinese one, print it out, and "leave" it on the table , where your MIL can read and see. Well, if you dont want to confront your MIL face to face, at least this is the more "subtle "way to let her know that BREAST IS THE BEST.
I am 100% a breastfeeding supporter! And sometimes, well most of the times it is not easy if you dont have the right support and encouragement, so keep your knowledge and reference handy, and be strong with your will...
at the end this is your life, your body and your baby, so the final decision is in your hand. And not even MIL or our own mom can change that.

Vivianz said...

Come to us, we all support breastfeeding! I don't get any support from my In Laws either but who cares?! :) Just ignore and there, i've been breastfeeding for 16 months....

huisia said...

don't worry, if you believe you can then you always can...

look at me, i always fall sick, but my baby is strong since he gets all the best from my milk.

Mummy to QiQi said...

Sharine, staying with in-laws or older generation isnt easy. Many time we can't stand the inteference, therefore give up bf.

But we can't really blame them, as they want best for their grandchildren too, and since formula is the "superior" milk in their time where only poor feeds bm, thats why they got that kind of thinking :p

Bryan's Mama said...

don't worry lah....I've learnt to shut my ears to stuff like that. You know you have a lot of support from the other bloggers :) At least you MIL knows that b/f is best. My hill even steeper to climb liao....

pu said...

hey i was in a similar position as you. had no support in bf. and i really wanted to bf my little one. i regret listening to negative advise on bf and vow to bf my second child until 1 yr.

Peridot&Sapphire said...

thanks all for your support... I know who to turn to now... :) Feel blessed to know all of you!

shida said...

sharine... u got my 100% support too.

did the book helps u a lot?

dont give ok.... with ur determination and frens support... im sure u can success in bf ur next baby soon.

Angeleyes said...

yeah, our parents' time was the FORMULA period so they don't give us any breastmilk.

No worries, I am a breatfeeding support member for Penang Hospital. If you have any problems, can always ask me. I managed to coax a friend (SAHM) into exclusive bf her 1st child and she is ever so thankful to me.