I spoke something which is not supposed to speak out that will affect the impression from both families. I'm really bad at delivering the good ones instead of bad ones and I did it without my concious. Realized I told the wrong person which I shouldn't but the damage already done. Therefore, more misunderstanding here and there... arrghh!
When you are in anger, in stress and pressure you will need someone to talk to. In this case not husband or wife nor immediate family members even you know that's the comfort that you can find but it's not helping in solving the problem. Probably the problem comes from my own as I have to admit my weakness - I'm easily to disclose every bad feelings or negatives thoughts that I have from other's family with my family. Yeah... the long and old stories of the in laws. I know I shouldn't but... I think I still fail as a person especially in communicating without hurting others' feeling. I never know that there are things that I can't simply points out even I dislike as being a straight forward individual at all times. To me, I still need to learn alot. Then again, I keep on bumping my head to the walls. Am I stubborn?
This is not something that you can read from books... it's a daily life practise. I realized it and still struggling to overcome this weakness eventhough I knew what I shall do. DH said that's why I fail in workplace and always hurt people without caring for other's feeling about what I said. (sounds so cruel?) Perhaps I shall learn to tell lie? DH also said that's because I have the pure heart, I can't compete in corporate world. I sure lose and die very fast... even my mum said I am a looser to do sales. I regretted I never become a lawyer, at least this profession will force me to learn the art and skill of communication. True?
I'm hopeless in teaching my kids on this matter coz I know I need to brush up on my own too. Therefore cannot complain much if the elders are going to deliver the positive teaching to the young ones. I believe one saying, the child is the reflection of his or her parent. Knowing my own weakness, I don't want my children to pick up negative values from me.
My problem is why I always disclose in stress even I knew I'm talking to the wrong listener? I just can't help and I really need help! Not from others but help from myself to outgrown it... Yes, no one is perfect. Even as a parent there are thoughts or values that we shall outgrow which we carry from young. Agree?