Monday, May 21, 2007

Leave or Stay?

Work for money or work for passion??
I always thought we are all working for money. Yes, you need money to survive in this society, everything involve money. Money is so important to human being.
Two years ago, one of my boss (yup, I reported to two bosses and always have conflicts as one always said go for A and the other said B) told me we must have passion in work so that when you enjoy what you do then indirectly you will become better at it and will silently establish potential or effort which you never know. Oh yes, provided that you really love your dear job!
In my mind, I was thinking if ones have problem in surviving or earning less, do you think they still can head for working for passion?? That is so untrue as working for passion at the job you love is an ideal case but how many of us on the earth are blessed with such opportunity?
I lose the interest, not even passion of my job as I don't see any future in it. Change company? Well, think about it but it's just changing environment. I had seen the dark side of corporate world. Office politics is unavoidable, it's just make me feel like I'm so hippocrate when talking to customers as the way I was told to. Therefore, at the end of the day still go back to square one. Organisation management wise, exactly like Jazzmint posted in her blog "The Bl***dy etc etc" and made me feel like I'm not a contributor there. Hello, I never asked for a rise in pay since I first joined 4 years ago. I just wish the company will appreciate what I did even my role sometimes are just a small project coordinator. Feel Very frustrated!
Sometimes, I think I'm too straight-forward and daddy told me that my attitude and behaviour is not suitable to be in corporate world. I have different characters compare to OL and I just prefer to tell the truths, and always do. Too bad, in corporate world when you deal in business, people tends to love listening to the opposite.

I took back my piano on the year I prepared for my wedding, before En En's arrival. The reason? Don't feel like selling my piano in hometown which I already abandoned for 10 years and in fact, the piano travelled to Penang as one of the furniture piece. That time I was quite free after work so decided to continue my music education till diploma.
I am not so ambitious about my career as I chose family as my priority. I even once told daddy that my greatest achievement is to become a full time housewife. Unfortunately, I'm not marrying a billionare so cannot be those highly educated "tai-tai" whose responsible to take care and educate the children. Funny is it? I also feel funny at first when I realised I have such an "ambition" LOL. Daddy never laughs at me but in fact, he loves it when I have this idea. Maybe that's why we clicked.... LOL
OK, back to the real world, both of us still have to work to support ourself and our family. I tried up teaching music as I wanted to know whether I love it more than my current job. And of course it's another stepping stone if suddenly got retrenchment. Just in case... and I never know that one day, I prefer to be in education world than the corporate world. Maybe because I have En En now, my perspectives and views had changed. I just wish that I can involve more in her development phases and early education. I still don't think it's the right time to become a SAHM, my parent will kill me. But slowly I receive support from both families for me to try involve in education line.

The transition phase is really hard, as this is actually a very difficult decision. I'm in a very terrible dilemma now. But if I never move the step, I can't reach either ends. It's so painful to let go on what you are earning now and start all over again. On the other hand, when thinking about you can do things that you enjoy, you will really long for that day to come. Hopefully I can select on work for passion in no time...

7 comments:

jazzmint said...

hmm...I guess it's a tough decision. I work for passion anytime :P haha...but of course I must make sure my company appreciates me, if not no use oso. If got good offer go lerr ;)

Allyfeel & bb said...

I must agree. I went thru the same phase. I have a job not career currently. Frankly, I hated it so much and I feel so stressful everyday. Everyone envies my job but I have to put a stop to it, it's making me stupid. I rather spend time with my kids at home then sitting in office doing useless stuff.

Of coz, pursuing passion is risky but we have to start from somewhere.

Paik Ling said...

I hated my previous job so much that everyday, 9am-5pm was like hell! I left without even completing a year. It's important to do the stuff we like, else what's the point? Life's too short to be doing things we don't like ler.........

Peridot&Sapphire said...

jazzmint: of course if got new offer definitely cabut fast-fast

allyfeel: sorry to know that u also face the same things like me but try not to make it so streeful la... cheer up for your unborn bb. Last time I just ignore whatever stress in the office & enjoy myself througout my pregnancy. Yo can do it too.

hpling: agree with you but sometimes it's not when you said you want to leave you just can leave like that.

Tutiger said...

Wow, I didn't know that you are facing such a dilemma (quite like mine - the "leave or stay")
But I do sincerely hope that you will find the right way for yourself because in life everyone have their own opinion so there is no actual "right" or "wrong". (How "wrong" can "wrong" be? And how "right" can "right" be?) Personally I think you would be choosing the right one :)

Miranda Lea said...

haha..after standing on two feet for 10 long years in the F&B industries...i QUIT!!..my wish was to be a stay home mom..but also to dream of desingning furnitures too...so..now i've been staying / working at home for almost 2 yrs..the goods thing is..i can do as i like..even shopping when others ar eat work...hihihi..provided i have $$ with me..

Vivianz said...

My previous job, too demanding, won't have time to be with family AT ALL. works even on weekend. That's why I just quitted. Thank god that my parents didn't kill me... :P